Tag Archive: self-help


“Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God…?” Romans 11:33 (MSG)

 

This was my fourth time to attend the WOF Conferences and, to be completely honest, I wasn’t planning on going this year.  They had decided to split the core group of speakers and welcome “some new friends to the porch.” While I was certain that these new “friends” were wonderful women, I was not excited about missing-out on hearing from Sheila Walsh, Luci Swindoll, and Mary Graham. Besides…I had heard their inspiring messages before.  What new messages of hope, love, and encouragement could they possibly be bringing to Oklahoma City?  Fortunately, God had other plans…I was contacted and selected by Thomas Nelson Publishing through their blogger program Booksneeze, to be their guest at this years conference and to write about my experience.

 

I am so thankful and overjoyed that I went.  As Patsy Clairmont says, “Change can be good.”

 

I have decided to make two posts regarding the WOF conference so that I can fully share the wisdom that was given during this two day conference.

If you have never attended one of these events, it is difficult to fully explain the experience.  No matter who your are, where you are from, or what is going on in your life, the stories shared here will resonate with you.  Even having heard the narratives of Marilyn Meberg, Patsy Clairmont, and Lisa Whelchel before, I realized that the stories shared at this event were different; moreover, that I was in such a different place in my life as well. I have already found myself sharing the truth of “more” and finding real contentment, as shared by Marilyn Meberg, with several of my patients over this past week.  The testimonies of each of these incredible women (and wonderful man–Andy Andrews) were poignant, transparent, and pointed fully to the power of God in each of their lives.  Each of the speakers share with such intimacy, despite being with 7,000 of your closest girlfriends, that you leave feeling like you really know each of them and share a special bond.

 

And then there’s the music…

There is nothing more moving than singing worship with 7,000 women.  I still get chills thinking about singing  Revelation Song as led by the four talented women of the Rejoice   Worship Team.  The entire Chesapeake Arena was energized as we danced & sang with Mandisa and the Worship Team. Amy Grant shared a very intimate and beautiful concert with us that concluded with the entire WOF lineup dancing on the stage with her.  I am always in awe of the incredible talent of Sandi Patty and so grateful to be able to hear her sing my favorite song, The Prayer with her husband Don Peslis.

It was an energizing weekend filled with truth, wisdom, renewal, and hope….truly it was Over the Top.

Lost in Time

Review: Time Management from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern

One of my favorite lectures from residency was on “Unchangeables.” This list of core characteristics, thought to be unalterable, included such things as empathy, sense of aesthetics, sense of direction, being a “reader”, organizational ability, and sense of time.  With the permission afforded me by this list, I have spend many years indulging in “tardiness.”  I would tell myself, “I can’t help being late, I have an imperfect sense of time.”   I routinely get lost in activities and lose track of time, or miscalculate how much time a particular activity will take, and I am always late.  This defect in my “sense of time” has caused a great deal of consternation in our family as I am married to a man with a perfect sense of both time and organization. Needless-to-say, he doesn’t buy into my excuse nor does he care about “timeliness” being an unchangeable.  So in an attempt to maintain peace and harmony in our home, I went in search for the seemingly impossible: a way to become aware of time.

What I found was a book: Time Management from the Inside Out by Julie Morgenstern. Ms. Morgenstern promises a “foolproof system for taking control of your schedule and your life.”  What she delivers is a system of time organization that takes into account the individual’s quirks and shortcomings.  She begins by having the individual do a “three level diagnostic” looking for particular obstacles, then teaches several pneumonic driven “take-charge” programs (WADE: write it down, Add it Up, Decide, Execute your plan; the 4 D’s: Delete, Delay, Diminish, Delegate).  Ms. Morgenstern’s strength lies in her organizational expertise and she applies her strategies adeptly to “time.”  While I will likely always struggle with accurately predicting how long it will take me to do a particular thing, it’s encouraging to learn and implement some strategies to prevent my particular time management challenges from derailing my entire day.  If you find yourself frustrated at the end of the day, asking where the time went, this may be the book to help you “Analyze, Strategize, & Attack” your way into better time management.

Are you always searching for “something more?”  Do you identify with any of the following drives or characteristics:

  • Extreme Confidence
  • Constant Need for New Challenges
  • Need for Recognition based on Performance, not gender
  • Greatest pleasures come from work place achievements
  • Learn best from Experience

Have you been frustrated by managers or situations that don’t challenge you to grow, provide opportunities for connecting, or sufficient validation?  This may be the book for you.

Always searching for tools, tricks, and tips to share with my girlfriends and patients, I was thrilled when presented with the opportunity to review Marcia Reynolds’Wander Woman. (obligatory disclosure: I received a review copy of the book at no cost with no obligation to provide a positive review) Going beyond the traditional call for finding “balance”, Wander Woman presents as a self-help book for “high-achieving women who are confident, ambitious, driven yet anxious, discontented, and above all, restless.”  This book succeeds in this endeavor and is a fascinating character study as well.

Dr. Reynolds begins by defining what constitutes a “Wander Woman” and explores the conditions that have contributed to the formation of such persons.  She then describes the process of “intentional transformation” and does a beautiful job of elucidating the many archetypes that characterize the various aspects of one’s personality: the Victim, the Saboteur, the Rebel, and so on…  Dr. Reynolds utilizes her masterful coaching expertise to provide specific exercises to aid in the discovery and development of these aspects of personality, provides instruction on correcting distortions of thoughts (“debunking your assumptions”), as well as gives specific directions on how to gain useful insight through the technique of “Appreciative Dialogue.”

Although I initially was interested in this book as it would apply to others, I quickly found myself relating to this Wander Woman phenomenon…with one exception: I no longer feel the need to “wander.”  I was fortunate enough to find and create the conditions I needed for contentment and fulfillment in my personal and professional life by becoming self-employed.  This solution, while appropriate in my situation, is not an option for many.  Fortunately, this book guides women through the process of self-discovery and provides specific resources for developing a “conscious strategy to find your direction and plan for your future.”

I recommend this book to any woman interested in introspection, not just those who set out to become “high-achievers.”  Wander Woman is full of great insights and is a wonderful exercise in personal development and transformation for any woman who wants “to know what they can accomplish in this lifetime without feeling exhausted and lonely in the end.”

(from the publisher)

Dr. Marcia Reynolds is fascinated by the brain, especially the nuances of the female brain. She is a master certified coach with a doctorate in organizational psychology, focusing on the needs and challenges of smart, strong women in the workplace. She travels around the world speaking at conferences and teaching classes in leadership, emotional intelligence and organizational change. Her book Wander Woman: How High Achieving Women Find Contentment and Direction was released this summer.

You can read more about the book at wanderwomanbook.com and follow the author on Facebookand Twitter.

_225_350_Book.88.coverDespite unprecedented opportunities in all spheres of daily living, women are becoming increasingly unhappy, less satisfied, and less fulfilled in their lives. Somehow on the path to “having it all” women got lost. By believing that the only way to “have it all” was to be perfectly balanced and accomplished in all areas: wife, mother, career, civic, and social—women have experienced feelings of failure, self-doubt, and shame. In his book, Find Your Strongest Life, Mr. Buckingham provides a different model for “having it all” (defined as “drawing enough strength from life to feel fulfilled, loved, successful, and in control) then provides a set of different “Strength” based tactics to accomplish this.

Find Your Strongest Life reads and feels like being at a motivational seminar, complete with Power-point style recaps at the end of each chapter. He utilizes an online strength assessment to help determine “the role you were born to play.” Overall, the book is very accessible, addresses numerous real-life situations faced by today’s women, and provides workable solutions and suggestions for all. The shift in focus from “Balance” to “Fullness” by focusing on “capturing moments” that bring strength feels both intuitive and empowering. This book will be beneficial for all women who are stuck in the search for “elusive perfection” amid the bounty of choices available to us.